Johnson City Record Courier
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The Storyteller
Now Who Was This Gift For?
Thursday, December 13, 2012 • Posted December 13, 2012

I just called my daughter, Mary to tell her I have to unwrap a few of the gifts for her and her sister because I don’t remember if the right gift is in the package for Mary or Jenni. There are just some things a person my age shouldn’t even attempt without a list! Multi tasking after 70 is iffy to say the least. Things like wrapping gifts and getting them tagged, making jelly and remembering the sequence of adding ingredients, and which kid likes this and can’t stand that. It’s a miracle if Jenni doesn’t unwrap a pair of 32X34 Wrangler jeans and her brother doesn’t find ruffled sleeping p.j’s or that Mary doesn’t get a pair of boxer shorts. Jenni loves the Talbot’s look and the Mary loves anything pink and bling, bling and more bling. I really have to stay focused and that is getting more difficult each year. I took over the guest bedroom to become Christmas wrapping central. I can make a huge mess and just close the door and unless we have an unexpected guest I don’t have to clean up so often. I have always wrapped gifts on the floor and still do. The getting down on the floor is a cinch, but the getting up is a challenge. I try to put everything I will need for wrapping on the floor so I won’t have to be getting up and down. I bought packaging tape, scotch tape, ribbon in every color, wrapping paper, colored tissue paper and heavy duty paper for mailing and two pair of scissors so if I can’t find one pair in the mess, I will have a spare. I feel really prepared for the task, except I have forgotten to buy tags for the gifts and I think to myself, “no problem I will remember who gets what.” Wrong! Speaking of scissors one of the two pair of scissors I have had for probably since I was in Junior high school. You will know from the age of them, they were not made in China! They are steel and very sharp. I remember now after the fact that you must be careful with scissors. Remember how our mothers always told us not to run with scissors in our hands because we might fall and put our eye out? Well did my mother tell me not to sit on the floor with the very sharp scissors in my lap? No, she did not. So while scrambling around for scissors and with all kinds of wrapping paper in my lap as well, I stuck my self with not one but both points of the scissors. Looks like I was struck by a two pronged rattlesnake. I hollered when I stuck myself and Pat came rushing in to see what happened. “How did you do that?, he asked.” Now why would he ask me a question like that but he always does. I explained to him while wiping the blood from the stab wounds on my arm, “well it wasn’t easy.” He then admonished me to be more careful while wrapping presents. I said to him, “Just how many more accidents can I have just wrapping gifts? He said he was sure I would find one. Now back to the wrapping. I always cut corners on things I think won’t make any difference so I bought the cheaper roll of packing tape the Dollar store had. Big mistake, HUGE mistake. In the first place I bought the kind without the whatchamacallit that is supposed to make the tape NOT wind up on itself. I bet I spent at least an hour trying to undo tape I couldn’t even see where it had ended and in the meantime ruined a thumbnail trying to run it under the nearly imaginary tape. Another hindrance to wrapping central here in my guest room on the floor, I had bought all the Christmas colors of thin wrapping paper that you use to stuff into the ready made gift bags. I had all that on the floor with me when I decided to holler to Pat (because I couldn’t get up) to turn on the fan. It is December and it shouldn’t be hot but it is and the minute he flipped the switch, it blew all that flimsy paper to hell and back! It wasn’t my best day for sure and I actually do like wrapping gifts but next time I will buy the more expensive wrapping paper that won’t get torn by a sharp corner on a package I am wrapping and I will definitely buy the Scotch brand tape that won’t go invisible on me and cause me to mutter expletives under my breath. Pat keeps reminding me that you get what you pay for and boy was he right. However all the wrapping is done, I have mailed the packages that needed to go out of town and soon as I finish writing this story, I will go and carefully as I can I will unwrap Jenni and Mary’s gifts to make sure they got the right ones. Tis the season to be jolly and to sing Christmas carols and go to church and praise God and be thankful for what we have and not whine for what we don’t have. So I want to wish all of you on my Christmas list, those who read my rants and those of you on my email reader list the very best holiday season and a very blessed and merry Christmas.

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